It's all because of the way I lookHates me...
It's all because of the way I lookHates me because of the way Dawn looksHe's obsessed with our looksThat's why he hates us--we're not short and ugly like him! "It's difficult," the psychiatrist said, "for a daughter to grow up the daughter of somebody who had so much attention for what sometimes seems to the daughter to be such a silly thingIt's tough, on top of the natural competition between mother and daughter, to have people asking a little girl, 'Do you want to grow up to be Miss New Jersey just like your mommy?"' "But nobody asks her thatWho asks her that? We never haveWe never talk about it, it never comes upWhy would it? My wife isn't Miss New Jersey--my wife is her mother
"But people ask her that, Mr
"Well, for God's sake, people ask children all sorts of things that don't mean anything--that is not the problem here
"But you do see how a child who has reason to feel she doesn't quite measure up to Mother, that she couldn't come close, might choose to adopt--"
"She hasn't adopted anythingLook, I think that perhaps you put an unfair burden on my daughter by making her see this as a costume jewelry chanel 'choiceIt's perfect hell for her when she stutters
"That isn't always what she tells meLast Saturday, I asked her point-blank, 'Merry, why do you stutter?' and she told me, 'It's just easier to stutter' "But you know what she meant by thatIt's obvious what she meant by thatShe means she doesn't have to go through all that she has to go through when she tries not to stutter
"I happen to think she was telling me something more than thatI think that Merry may even feel that if she doesn't stutter, then, oh boy, people are really going to find the real problem with her, particularly in a highly pressured perfectionist family where they tend to place an unrealistically high value on her every utterance'If I don't stutter, then my mother is really going to read me the riot act, then she's going to find out my real secrets'"
"Who said we're a highly pressured perfectionist family? JesusWe're an ordinary familyAre you quoting Merry? That's what she told you, about her mother? That she was going to read her the riot act?' "Not in so many words
"Because it's not true" the Swede said"That's not the big black bag causeSometimes I just think it's because her brain is so quick, it's so much quicker than her tongue--" Oh, the pitying way he is looking at me and my pathetic explanationCold, heartless bastardThat's the worst of it--the stupidityAnd all of it is because he looks the way he looks and I look the way I look and Dawn looks the way she looks and"We frequently see fathers who can't accept, who refuse to believe--" Oh, these people are completely useless! They only make things worse! Whose idea was this fucking psychiatrist! "I'm not not accepting anything, damn itI brought her here," the Swede said, "in the first placeI do everything any professional has told me to do to help support her efforts to stopI just want to know from you what good it is doing my daughter, with her grimacing and her tics and her leg twitches and her banging on the table and turning white in the face, with all of that difficulty, to be told that, on top of everything else, she's doing all this to manipulate her mother and father
"Well, who is in charge when she is banging on the table and turning white? Who is in control omega speedmaster day-date there?"
"She certainly isn't!" said the Swede angrily"You find me taking a very uncharitable view toward her," replied the doctorin a way, as her father, yesIt never seems to occur to you that there might be some physiological basis for this
"No, I didn't say thatLevov, I can give you organic theories if you want themBut that isn't the way I have found I can be most effective
Her stuttering diaryWhen she sat at the kitchen table after dinner writing the day's entry in her stuttering diary, that's when he most wanted to murder the psychiatrist who had finally to inform him--one of the fathers "who can't accept, who refuse to believe"--that she would stop stuttering only when stuttering was no longer necessary for her, when she wanted to "relate" to the world in a different way--in short, when she found a more valuable replacement for the manipulativenessThe stuttering diary was a red three-ring notebook in which, at the suggestion of her speech therapist, Merry kept a record of when she stutteredCould she have been any more the dedicated enemy of her stuttering than when she sat there scrupulously recalling prada borse and recording how the stuttering fluctuated throughout the day, in what context it was least likely to occur, when it was most likely to occur and with whom? And could anything have been more heartbreaking for him than reading that notebook on the Friday evening she rushed off to the movies with her friends and happened to leave it open on the table? "When do I stutter? When somebody asks me something that requires an unexpected, unrehearsed response, that's when I'm likely to stutterWhen people are looking at mePeople who know I stutter, particularly when they're looking at meThough sometimes it's worse with people who don't know me On she went, page after page in her strikingly neat handwriting--and all she seemed to be saying was that she stuttered in all situationsShe had written, "Even when I'm doing fine, I can't stop thinking, 'How soon is it going to be before he knows I'm a stutterer? How soon is it going to be before I start stuttering and screw this up?'" Yet, despite every disappointment, she sat where her parents could see her and worked on her stuttering diary every night, weekends replica santos cartier incl